AMERICANS SHOULD NEVER BE LET OUT OF THE COUNTRY!

Actual comments from US travel agents:

I had someone ask for an aisle seat so that their
> > hair wouldn't get messed up by being near the
> > window.
> > -------------------
> > A client called in inquiring about a package to
> > Hawaii. After going over all the cost info, she
> > asked, "Would it be cheaper to fly to
> > California and then take the train to Hawaii?"
> > -------------------
> > I got a call from a woman who wanted to go to
> > Cape town. I started to explain the length of the flight
> > and the passport information when she interrupted
> > me with "I'm not trying to make you look stupid, but
> > Cape town is in Massachusetts."
> > Without trying to make her look like the stupid
> > one, I calmly explained, "Cape Cod is in
> > Massachusetts, Cape town is in Africa."
> >
> > Her response ... click.
> >
> > -------------------
> > A man called, furious about a Florida package we
> > did. I asked what was wrong with the vacation in
> > Orlando. He said he was expecting an ocean
> > view room. I tried to explain that is not
> > possible, since Orlando is in the middle of the state. He
> > replied, "Don't lie to me. I looked on the
> > map and Florida is a very thin state."
> > -------------------
> > I got a call from a man who asked, "Is it
> > possible to see England from Canada?" I said, "No." He
> > said, "But they look so close on the map."
> > -------------------
> > Another man called and asked if he could rent a
> > car in Dallas. When I pulled up the reservation, I
> > noticed he had a 1 hour layover in Dallas.
> > When I asked him why he wanted to rent a car, he
> > said, "I heard Dallas was a big airport, and I
> > need a car to drive between the gates to save time."
> > -------------------
> > A nice lady just called. She needed to know how
> > it was possible that her flight from Detroit left at
> > 8:20am and got into Chicago at 8:33am. I tried to
> > explain that Michigan was an hour ahead of
> > Illinois, but she could not understand the concept of time
> > zones. Finally I told her the plane went very
> > fast, and she bought that!
> > -------------------
> > A woman called and asked, "Do airlines put your
> > physical description on your bag so they know
> > whose luggage belongs to who?" I said, "No, why do you
> > ask?" She replied, "Well, when I checked in with
> > the airline, they put a tag on my luggage that said
> > FAT, and I'm overweight, is there any connection?"
> > After putting her on hold for a minute while I
> > looked into it" (I was actually laughing) I came
> > back and explained the city code for Fresno is FAT,
> > and that the airline was just putting a destination
> > tag on her luggage.
> > -------------------
> > I just got off the phone with a man who asked,
> > "How do I know which plane to get on?" I asked him
> > what exactly he meant, to which he replied, "I was
> > told my flight number is 823, but none of these darn
> > planes have numbers on them."
> > -------------------
> > A woman called and said, "I need to fly to Pepsi
> > cola on one of those computer planes." I asked
> > if she meant to fly to Pensacola on a commuter
> > plane. She said, "Yeah, whatever."
> > -------------------
> > A businessman called and had a question about the
> > documents he needed in order to fly to China.
> > After a lengthy discussion about passports, I reminded
> > him he needed a visa. "Oh no I don't, I've been to
> > China many times and never had to have one of those."
> > I double-checked and sure enough, his stay required>
> > a visa. When I told him this he said, "Look,
> > I've been to China four times and every time they
> > have accepted my American Express."
> > -------------------
> > A woman called to make reservations; "I want to
> > go from Chicago to Hippopotamus, New York."
> > The agent was at a loss for words. Finally, the
> > agent said, "Are you sure that's the name of the
> > town?" "Yes, what flights do you have?" replied
> > the customer. After some searching, the agent came
> > back with, "I'm sorry, ma'am, I've looked up every
> > airport code in the country and can't find a Hippopotamus
> > anywhere." The customer retorted, "Oh don't be
> > silly. Everyone knows where it is. Check your
> > map!" The agent scoured a map of the state of New York
> > and finally offered, "You don't mean Buffalo, do
> > you?" "That's it! I knew it was a big animal!"