Sage advice from Cousin Bob............

.....................About Women's Housekeeping

Dear Friends,

It is important for men to remember that as women grow older it becomes
harder for them to maintain the same quality of housekeeping as they did
when they were younger. When men notice this, they should try not to
comment to harshly on this matter. Let me relate how I handle the situation.

When I got laid off from my consulting job and took "early retirement"
in March, it became necessary for Nancy to get a full-time job, both for
extra income and for the health benefits that we need. It was shortly
after she started working that I noticed that she was beginning to show
her age.

I usually get home from fishing or hunting about the same time she gets
home from work. Although she knows how hungry I am, she almost always
says that she has to rest for half an hour or so before she starts
supper. I try not to comment negatively, instead I tell her to take her
time and just wake me when she finally does get supper on the table. She
used to do the dishes as soon as we finished eating. It is now not
unusual for them to sit on the table for several hours after supper. I
do what I can by reminding her several times each evening that they
aren't cleaning themselves. I know she appreciates this, as it does seem
to help her get them done before she goes to bed.

Now that she is older she seems to get tired so much more quickly. Our
washer and dryer are in the basement. Sometimes she says she just can't
make another trip down those steps. I don't make a big issue of this.
As long as she finishes up the laundry the next evening I am willing to
overlook it.

Not only that, but unless I need something ironed to wear to the Monday
lodge meeting or to Wednesday's or Saturday's poker club or to Tuesday's
or Thursday's bowling or something like that, I will tell her to wait
until the next evening to do the ironing. This gives her a little more
time to do some of those odds and ends things like shampooing the dog,
vacuuming or dusting.

Also, if I have a really good day of fishing, this allows her to gut and
scale the fish at a more leisurely pace. Nancy is starting to complain
a little occasionally. For example, she will say that it is difficult
for her to find time to pay the monthly bills during her lunch hour. In
spite of her complaining, I continue to try to offer encouragement. I
tell her to stretch it out over two or even three days. That way she
won't have to rush so much.

I also remind her that missing lunch completely now and then wouldn't
hurt her any, if you know what I mean.

When doing simple jobs she seems to think she needs more rest periods.
She had to take a break when she was only half finished mowing the yard.
I try not to embarrass her when she needs these little extra rest
breaks. I tell her to fix herself a nice, big, cold glass of freshly
squeezed lemonade and just sit for a while. I tell her that as long as
she is making one for herself, she may as well make one for me and take
her break by the hammock so she can talk with me until I fall asleep.

I know that I probably look like a saint in the way I support Nancy on a
daily basis. I'm not saying that the ability to show this much
consideration is easy. Many men will find it difficult. Some will find
it impossible. No one knows better than I do how frustrating women can
become as they get older. However, guys, even if you just a little more
patient with your wife because of this article, I will consider that
writing it was worthwhile.

Signed, Bob
==============================================

Latest update:

Bob's funeral was on Saturday, April 25th.
Nancy was acquitted Monday, April 27th

"If a man does not keep pace with his companions, perhaps it is because
he hears a different drummer. Let him step to the music that he hears,
however measured or far away"

Henry David Thoreau

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This message was edited Apr 3, 2004 8:52 AM