Top Ten Signs You May Be Eating In A Bad Restaurant

Tucson, AZ(Zone 9a)

10. As you leave commenting on the Flavored Tooth Picks...they say... "Flavored? OH!!! The person before you had the key lime pie for desert.. Sir.. You can't take that from the restaurant..."
9. Bathrooms are marked "Stander-uppers" and "Sitter-downers".
8. Proudly display their vast, historic collection of stomach pumps.
7. No rats anywhere near the garbage cans.
6. After a complaint about being given a dirty fork, your waitress licks it and dries it on your tie.
5. When they're going into the Playland Area, you tell the kids to be careful to step over the yellow police tape.
4. When you order the "special," you hear the entire kitchen staff burst out laughing, and then their dogs start barking.
3. The waiter knows the exact amount of rat feces the law allows in your food.
2. Waiver of liability form inserted in the menu.
1. All the good parking spaces are marked "Ambulance Parking Only".

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