Advice To Women . . . . .

This advice may have been given before... but in case not here it is anyway ...

If you want someone willing to make a fool of himself
simply over the joy of seeing you . . . . . . . buy a dog.

If you want someone who will eat whatever you put in
front of him and never says its not quite as good as his mother made it . . . . . buy a dog.

If you want someone always willing to go out, at any
hour, for as long and wherever you want . . . . . . buy a dog.

If you want someone to scare away burglars, without a
lethal weapon which terrifies you and endangers the lives of your family and all the neighbours . . . . . buy a dog.

If you want someone who will never touch the remote,
doesn't care about football, and can sit next to you as you watch romantic movies . . . . buy a dog.

If you want someone who is content to get up on your
bed just to warm your feet and whom you can push off if he snores . . . . . . . buy a dog.

If you want someone who never criticises what you do, doesn't care if you are pretty or ugly, fat or thin, young or old, flat chested or not, who acts as if every word you say is especially worthy of listening to, and loves you unconditionally, perpetually . . . . . . . buy a dog.

But on the other hand, if you want someone who will never come when you call, ignores you totally when you come home, leaves hair all over the place, walks all over you, runs around all night, only comes home to eat and sleep, and acts as if your entire existence is solely to ensure his
happiness . . . . . . .

Then my friend . . . . . . .

Buy a cat.

(Any resemblance to a man is purely coincidental.)