Why We Love Kids

Why We Love Kids

NUDITY
I was driving with my three young children
one warm summer evening when a woman
in the convertible ahead of us stood up and
waved. She was stark naked! As I was
reeling from the shock, I heard my 5-year-old
shout from the back seat, "Mom! That lady
isn't wearing a seat belt!"

HONESTY
My son Zachary, 4, came screaming out of
the bathroom to tell me he'd dropped his
toothbrush in the toilet. So I fished it out
and threw it in the garbage. Zachary stood
there thinking for a moment, then ran to my
bathroom and came out with my toothbrush.
He held it up and said with a charming little
smile, "We better throw this one out too
then, 'cause it fell in the toilet a few days
ago.

OPINIONS
On the first day of school, a first-grader
handed his teacher a note from his mother.
The note read, "The opinions expressed by
this child are not necessarily those of his
parents."

KETCHUP
A woman was trying hard to get the ketchup
to come out of the jar. During her struggle
the phone rang so she asked her 4-year-old
daughter to answer the phone. "It's the
minister, Mommy," the child said to her
mother. Then she added, "Mommy can't
come to the phone to talk to you right now.
She's hitting the bottle."

MORE NUDITY
A little boy got lost at the YMCA and found
himself in the women's locker room. When
he was spotted, the room burst into shrieks,
with ladies grabbing towels and running for
cover. The little boy watched in amazement
and then asked, "What's the matter haven't
you ever seen a little boy before?"

POLICE # 1
While taking a routine vandalism report at
an elementary school, I was interrupted by a
little girl about 6 years old. Looking up and
down at my uniform, she asked, "Are you a
cop?" "Yes," I answered and continued
writing the report. "My mother said if I ever
needed help I should ask the police. Is that
right?" "Yes, that's right," I told her. "Well,
then," she said as she extended her foot
toward me, "would you please tie my shoe?"

POLICE # 2
It was the end of the day when I parked my
police van in front of the station. As I
gathered my equipment, my K-9 partner,
Jake, was barking, and I saw a little boy
staring in at me. "Is that a dog you got back
there" he asked? "It sure is," I replied.
Puzzled. The boy looked at me and then
towards the back of the van. Finally he said,
"What'd he do?"

ELDERLY
While working for an organization that
delivers lunches to elderly shut-ins, I used
to take my 4-year-old daughter on my
afternoon rounds. She was unfailingly
intrigued by the various appliances of old
age, particularly the canes, walkers and
wheelchairs. One day I found her staring at a
pair of false teeth soaking in a glass. As I
braced myself for the inevitable barrage of
questions, she merely turned and
whispered, "The tooth fairy will never believe this!"

DRESS-UP
A little girl was watching her parents dress for a party.
When she saw her dad donning his tuxedo, she warned,
"Daddy, you shouldn't wear that suit."
"And why not, darling? "You know that it always
gives you a headache the next morning."

DEATH
While walking along the sidewalk in front of his
church, our minister eard the intoning of a prayer
that nearly made his collar wilt. Aparently,
his 5-year-old son and his playmates had
found a dead robin. Feeling that proper burial
should be performed, they had secured a small
box and cotton batting, then dug a hole and
made ready for the disposal of he deceased.
The minister's son was chosen to say the
appropriate prayers and with sonorous dignity
intoned his version of what he thought his father
always said: "Glory be unto the Faaaather, and unto
the Sonnn ..... and into the hole he gooooes."

SCHOOL
A little girl had just finished her first
week of school. "I'm just wasting my time,"
she said to her mother. "I can't read, I can't
write and they won't let me talk!"

BIBLE
A little boy opened the big family bible. He
was fascinated as he fingered through the
old pages. Suddenly, something fell out of
the Bible. He picked up the object and looked at
it. What he saw was an old leaf that had been
pressed in between the pages.

"Mama, look what I found," the boy called
out." What have you got there, dear?"
With astonishment in the young boy's voice, he
answered, "I think it's Adam's underwear!"