Analysis of a woman

ANALYSIS OF A WOMAN (purely in a lighter vein)

Nomenclature: Woman
Symbol: Wo
Occurrence: Ubiquitous and abundant
Origin: Unknown
Size: Standard -- 42-24-36
Availability: In all sizes except the standard. Some are upside down to the standard.
Mass: 35-55 kgs.
Length: Between 1 and 2 metres

Properties:
++Structural: Mostly petit frame with 75 % surface tension.
++Physical: At times highly dynamic, but no initiative in times of crises; possesses little strength and force; exhibits alpha, fronted by a better looking specimen.
++Chemical: boils at nothing and melts under sentimental conditions; freezes at sensitive moments, bitter by nature; violently reacts after a brief solitude and improper treatment leading to explosions; turns red even on a little provocation and becomes pale during crises.
++Conductivity: An equally good conductor of both love and hate.
++Thermal: Cold sentimentality under hot conditions and exaggerated sentimentality under cold conditions.

=Susceptibility: Systems:
Eyes- Susceptible near all saree emporia
Ears- Susceptible to al fashionable earrings, earlocks, eardrops, etc.
Tongue- Susceptible to all gossip.
Nose- Susceptible to exotic smells.
Mouth- Susceptible to all pickles in general
Mind- Highly susceptible under sentimental conditions. Very high infatuation towards gold, silver, etc., and invitations.

=Utility:
- General- An ornamental piece fit for an ivory tower; acts as a tonic when judiciously used, otherwise a non-reversible poison even at sub-lethal doses. An accelerator of spirit and simian enthusiasm even among ascetics.
- Economic- Rise in value under speculative conditions, increases demand, and fall in value decreases demand, a paradox in economic parlance. An instrument for equitable distribution of wealth; acts as an effective income reducing agent. An article of ostentation and possesses snob-appeal. A popular bait in all shops and supermarkets to net the victims.
- Caution- Beware of feminine wits and potentialities. Stop, look twice, listen and recede. 660 V. Inexperienced hands should neither touch nor feel. Never try to find the origin. A cul-de-sac. A land of no return.