It is so HOT here!

It's so hot in our area that...
the birds have to use potholders to pull worms out of the ground.


the potatoes cook underground, and all you have to do to have lunch is to
pull one out and add butter, salt and pepper.

the corn is popping in the cornfields around here, just bring butter
and salt.

farmers are feeding their chickens crushed ice to keep them from laying
hard-boiled eggs.


* the cows are giving evaporated milk.

* the trees are whistling for the dogs

* you no longer associate bridges (or rivers) with water.

* you can say 113 degrees without fainting.

* you eat hot chilies to cool your mouth off.

* you can make instant sun tea.

* you learn that a seat belt makes a pretty good branding iron.

* the temperature drops below 95, you feel a bit chilly.

* you discover that in July, it takes only 2 fingers to drive your car.

* you discover that you can get a sunburn through your car window.

* you notice the best parking place is now determined by shade instead of
distance.

* hot water now comes out of both taps.

* it's noon in July, kids are out of school, and not one person is out on
the streets.

* you actually burn your hand opening the car door.

* you break a sweat the instant you step outside at 6:00 a.m. before work.

* no one would dream of putting vinyl upholstery in a car or not having air
conditioning.

* your biggest bicycle wreck fear is, "What if I get knocked out and end
up lying on the pavement and cook to death?"

* you realize that asphalt has a liquid state.
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