General Motors doesn't have a help line for people who don't know how to drive, because people don't buy cars like they buy computers, but imagine they did ...
HelpLine: General Motors HelpLine, how can I help you?
Customer: I got in my car and closed the door and nothing
happened!
HelpLine: Did you put the key in the ignition slot and
turn it?
Customer: What's an ignition?
HelpLine: It's a starter motor that draws current from your battery and turns over the engine.
Customer: Ignition? Motor? Battery? Engine? How come I have to know all these technical terms just to use my car?
~~~~~
HelpLine: General Motors HelpLine, how can I help you?
Customer: My car ran fine for a week and now it won't go
anywhere!
HelpLine: Is the gas tank empty?
Customer: Huh? How do I know?
HelpLine: There's a little gauge on the front panel with a
needle and markings from 'E' to 'F'. Where is the needle pointing?
Customer: It's pointing to 'E'. What does that mean?
HelpLine: It means you have to visit a gasoline vendor and purchase some more gasoline. You can install it yourself or pay the vendor to install it for you.
Customer: What? I paid $12,000 for this car! Now you tell me that I have to keep buying more components? I want a car that comes with everything built in!
~~~~~
HelpLine: General Motors HelpLine, how can I help you?
Customer: Your cars suck!
HelpLine: What's wrong?
Customer: It crashed, that's what's wrong!
HelpLine: What were you doing?
Customer: I wanted to run faster, so I pushed the accelerator pedal all the way to the floor. It worked for a while and then it crashed and it won't start now!
HelpLine: It's your responsibility if you misuse the product. What do you expect us to do about it?
Customer: I want you to send me one of the latest version that doesn't crash anymore!
~~~~~
HelpLine: General Motors HelpLine, how can I help you?
Customer: Hi, I just bought my first car, and I chose your car because it has automatic transmission, cruise control, power steering, power brakes, and power door locks.
HelpLine: Thanks for buying our car. How can I help you?
Customer: How do I work it?
HelpLine: Do you know how to drive?
Customer: Do I know how to what?
HelpLine: Do you know how to drive?
Customer: I'm not a technical person. I just want to go places in my car!
;-)
Wintermoor
Cars & Computers
Want to join? Register here. Already signed up? Click here to login!