when taken out of context - brain cramps - funny or scarry?

Brain Cramps
>
>
>Question: If you could live forever, would you and why? Answer: "I
>would not
>live forever, because we should not live forever, because if we were
>supposed to live forever, then we would live forever, but we cannot
>live
>forever, which is why I would not live forever," --Miss Alabama in the
>1994
>Miss USA contest.
>``````````````````````````````````
>"Whenever I watch TV and see those poor starving kids
>all over the world, I can't help but cry. I mean I'd love to be skinny
>like
>that, but not with all those flies and death and stuff." --Mariah Carey
>
>````````````
>"Smoking kills. If you're killed, you've lost a very important part of
>your
>life," --Brooke Shields, during an interview to become Spokesperson
>for
>federal anti-smoking campaign.
>`````````````````````````````````````````````````
>"I've never had major knee surgery on any other part of my body,"
>--Winston
>Bennett, University of Kentucky basketball forward.
>`````````````````````````````````````````````
>"Outside of the killings, Washington has one of the lowest crime rates
>in
>the country," --Mayor Marion Barry, Washington, DC.
>`````````````````````````````
>"I'm not going to have some reporters pawing through our papers. We are
>the
>president." --Hillary Clinton commenting on the release of subpoenaed
>documents.
>````````````````````````````````````````````````````
>"That lowdown scoundrel deserves to be kicked to death by a jackass,
>and I'm
>just the one to do it," --A congressional candidate in Texas.
>````````````````````````````
>"I don't feel we did wrong in taking this great country away from them.
>
>There were great numbers of people who needed new land, and the Indians
>were
>selfishly trying to keep it for themselves." --John Wayne
>```````````
>"Half this game is ninety percent mental." --Philadelphia Phillies
>manager,
>Danny Ozark
>``````````````````````````````````
>"It isn't pollution that's harming the environment. It's the impurities
>in
>our air and water that are doing it." --Al Gore, Vice President
>```````````````````
>"I love California. I practically grew up in Phoenix." --Dan Quayle
>``````````
>" It's no exaggeration to say that the undecideds could go one way or
>another" --George Bush, US President
>``````````````````````
>"We've got to pause and ask ourselves: How much clean air do we need?"
>--Lee
>Iacocca
>```````````
>"I was provided with additional input that was radically different from
>the
>truth. I assisted in furthering that version." --Colonel Oliver North,
>from
>his Iran-Contra testimony.
>`````````````````````````````````````````
>"The word "genius" isn't applicable in football. A genius is a guy like
>
>Norman Einstein." --Joe Theisman, NFL football quarterback & sports
>analyst.
>
>````````````````````````````````````````````
>"We don't necessarily discriminate. We simply exclude certain types of
>
>people." --Colonel Gerald Wellman, ROTC Instructor.
>`````````````````````````````````
>"If we don't succeed, we run the risk of failure." --Bill Clinton,
>President
>
>``````````````````
>"We are ready for an unforeseen event that may or may not occur." --Al
>Gore,
>VP
>``````````
>"Traditionally, most of Australia's imports come from overseas."
>--Keppel
>Enderbery
>```````````````
>"Your food stamps will be stopped effective March 1992 because we
>received
>notice that you passed away. May God bless you. You may reapply if
>there is
>a change in your circumstances." --Department of Social Services,
>Greenville, South Carolina
>````````````````````````````````````````````
>"If somebody has a bad heart, they can plug this jack in at night as
>they
>go to bed and it will monitor their heart throughout the night. And the
>
>next morning, when they wake up dead, there'll be a record." --Mark S.
>Fowler, FCC Chairman
>````````````````````````


Made me laugh until DH said some of it was really sad!!