This is so funny

When my twin daughters were young, I taught them to say this prayer
before
going to bed. As I listened outside their door, I could hear them say,
"Give
us this steak and daily bread, and forgive us our mattresses." My
husband and
I always had a good laugh over this. That was over 50 years
ago, and the memory still remains in my heart.
From San Francisco: When I was a child, I learned this prayer as "Our
Father, who are in Heaven, Howard be thy name." I always thought that
was
God's real name.
(Grand Junction, Colo.:)
When I was younger, I believed the line was "Lead a snot into
temptation." I
thought I was praying for my little sister to get into trouble.
(Groton, MS) My mother spent her early childhood saying, "Hail Mary,
full of
grapes."
(Missoula, Mont.:) My son, who is in nursery school, said, "Our Father,
who
art in Heaven, how didja know my name?"
(Uniontown, Ohio:)
I remember thinking this prayer was "Give us this day our jelly bread."
(Covina, Calif.:)
I recall reading something years ago about the Pledge of Allegiance.
Some
child thought it began, "I led the pigeons to the flag."
(Cleveland, Ohio:)
When I was little, I often wondered who Richard Stands was. You know: "I
pledge allegiance to the flag . . .and to the republic for Richard
Stands."
(Schenectady, N. Y.:)
I once knew a child whose favorite Sunday school song was "Gladly, the
Cross-Eyed Bear."
(Tampa, Fla.:)
When my husband was 6 years old, he thought a certain prayer was "He
suffered
under a bunch of violets." The real words were "under Pontius Pilate,"
but at
that age, he didn't know better. To this day, we still snicker in church
whenever that prayer is read. I believe God loves a good sense of humor.
(Lake Forest Park, Wash.)
When I was a little girl, we sang a song in Sunday school about Noah.
Part of
the chorus was "And the rains came down, and the floods came up." We
lived
next door to a couple of charming little girls who always sang this song
while playing in their garden. Their words were, "And the rains came
down, and the spuds came up."
(Oak Harbor, Wash.)
When my older brother was very young, he always walked up to the church
altar
with my mother when she took communion. On one occasion, he tugged at
her arm
and asked, "What does the priest say when he gives you the bread?" Mom
whispered something in his ear. Imagine his shock years later when he
learned that the priest doesn't say, "Be quiet until you get to your
seat."
And don't forget:
Now I lay me down to sleep, I pray the Lord my soul to keep, If I should
die
before I wake, blame it on my brother Jake.