Gotta be true!

Hi,

I was on my way to the post office to pick up my case of free M&M's,

(sent to me because I forwarded their e-mail to five other people,

celebrating

the fact that the year 2000 is "MM" in Roman numerals),when I ran into a

friend whose neighbor, a young man, was home recovering from having been

served

a rat in his bucket of Kentucky Fried Chicken which is predictable, since

as everyone knows, there's no actual chicken in Kentucky Fried Chicken,

which is why the government made them change their name to KFC.



Anyway, one day this guy went to sleep and when he awoke he was in

his

bathtub and it was full of ice and he was sore all over and when he got

out of the tub he realized that HIS KIDNEYS HAD BEEN STOLEN!



He saw a note on his mirror that said "Call 911!" but he was afraid to use

his phone

because it was connected to his computer, and there was a virus on his

computer

that would destroy his hard drive if he opened e-mail entitled "Join the

crew!" . He knew it wasn't a hoax because he himself was a computer

programmer



who was working on software to prevent a global disaster in which all the

computers get together and distribute the $250.00 Neiman-Marcus cookie

recipe under the leadership of Bill Gates. (It's true-I read it all last

week in a mass e-mail from BILL GATES HIMSELF, who was also promising me

a free Disney World vacation and $5,000 if I would forward the e-mail to

everyone I know.)

The poor man then tried to call 911 from a pay phone to report his

missing kidneys, but a voice on the line first asked him to press #90, which

unwittingly gave the bandit full access to the phone line at the guy's

expense.Then reaching into the coin-return slot he got jabbed with an

HIV-infected needle around which was wrapped around a note that said,

Welcome to the world of AIDS." Luckily he was only a few blocks from the

hospital- the one where that little boy who is dying of cancer is, the one

whose last wish is for everyone in the world to send him an e-mail and

the American Cancer Society has agreed to pay him a nickel for every e-mail

he receives. I sent him two e-mails and one of them was a bunch of x's and

o's in the shape of an angel (if you get it and forward it to more than 10

people, you will have good luck but for 10 people you will only have OK

luck and if you send it to fewer than 10 people you will have BAD LUCK FOR

SEVEN YEARS).

So anyway the poor guy tried to drive himself to the hospital, but on

the way he noticed another car driving without its lights on. To be helpful,

he flashed his lights at him and was promptly shot as part of a gang

initiation.

Send THIS to all the friends who send you their junk mail and you will

receive 4 green m&ms, but if you don't the owner of Proctor and Gamble

will report you to his Satanist friends and you will have more than bad

luck: you

will get cancer from the Sodium Laureth Sulfate in your shampoo, your wife

will

develop breast cancer from using the antiperspirant which clogs the pores

under your arms and the government will put a tax on your e-mails

forever.

I know this is all true 'cause I read it on the Internet!!