Cold Is It?--An Annotated Thermometer
Author Unknown
60° -- Californians put on sweaters (if they can find them in their wardrobe).
50° -- Miami residents turn on the heat.
40° -- You can see your breath.
Californians shiver uncontrollably.
Minnesotans go swimming.
35° -- Italian cars won't start.
32° -- Water freezes.
30° -- You plan your vacation to Australia.
Minnesotans put on T-shirts.
Politicians begin to worry about the homeless.
English cars won't start.
25° -- Boston water freezes.
Californians weep pitiably.
Minnesotans eat ice cream.
Canadians go swimming.
20° -- You can hear your breath.
Politicians begin to talk about the homeless.
New York City water freezes.
Miami residents plan vacations farther south.
15° -- French cars don't start.
You plan a vacation in Mexico.
Your cat insists on sleeping in bed with you.
10° -- Too cold to ski.
You need jumper cables to get the car going.
5° -- You plan your vacation in Houston.
American cars don't start.
0° -- Alaskans put on T-shirts.
Too cold to skate.
-10° -- German cars don't start.
Eyes freeze shut when you blink.
-15° -- You can cut your breath and use it to build an igloo.
Arkansans stick their tongues on metal objects.
Miami residents cease to exist.
-20° -- Cat insists on sleeping in your pajamas with you.
Politicians actually do something about the homeless.
Minnesotans shovel snow off the roof.
Japanese cars don't start.
-25° -- Too cold to think.
You need jumper cables to get the driver going.
-30° -- You plan a two-week hot bath.
The mighty Monongahela freezes.
Swedish cars don't start.
-40° -- Californians disappear.
Minnesotans button top button.
Canadians put on sweaters.
Your car helps you plan your trip south.
-50° -- Congressional hot air freezes.
Alaskans close the bathroom window.
-80° -- Hell freezes over.
Polar bears move south.
-90° -- Lawyers put their hands in their own pockets.
