A True Southerner!!!

This was sent to me by my good friend, Farizona.....thanks girl! I love it! Jo

A True Southerner

1.) Only a true Southerner knows the difference between a
hissie fit and a conniption, and that you don't "HAVE" them,
-- you "PITCH" them.

2.) Only a true Southerner knows how many fish, collard
greens, turnip greens, peas, beans, etc. make up "a mess."

3.) Only a true Southerner can show or point out to you the
general direction of "yonder."

4.) Only a true Southerner knows exactly how long
"directly" is - as in: "Going to town, be back directly."

5.) All true Southerners, even babies, know that "Gimme
some sugar" is not a request for the white, granular sweet
substance that sits in a pretty little bowl on the middle
of the table.

6.) All true Southerners know exactly when "by and by" is.
They might not use the term, but they know the concept well.

7.) Only a true Southerner knows instinctively that the
best gesture of solace for a neighbor who's got trouble is
a plate of hot fried chicken and a big bowl of cold potato
salad. (If the neighbor's trouble is a real crisis, they
also know to add a large banana puddin'!)

8.) Only true Southerners grow up knowing the difference
between "right near" and "a right far piece." They also
know that "just down the road" can be 1 mile or 20.

9.) Only a true Southerner both knows and understands the
difference between a redneck, a good ol' boy, and po' white
trash.

10.) No true Southerner would ever assume that the car with
the flashing turn signal is actually going to make a turn.

11.) A true Southerner knows that "fixin'" can be used as a
noun, a verb, or an adverb.

12.) Only a true Southerner knows that the term "booger"
can be a resident of the nose, a descriptive, as in "that
ol' booger," a first name or something that jumps out at
you in the dark and scares you senseless.

13.) Only true Southerners make friends while standing in
lines. We don't do "queues", we do "lines," and when we're
"in line," we talk to everybody!

14.) Put 100 true Southerners in a room and half of them
will discover they're related, even if only by marriage.

15.) True Southerners never refer to one person as "y'all."

16.) True Southerners know grits come from corn and how to
eat them.

17.) Every true Southerner knows tomatoes with eggs, bacon,
grits, and coffee are perfectly wonderful; that redeye
gravy is also a breakfast food; and that fried green
tomatoes are not a breakfast food.

18.) When you hear someone say, "Well, I caught myself
lookin' .. ," you know you are in the presence of a
genuine Southerner!

19.) Only true Southerners say "sweet tea" and "sweet
milk." Sweet tea indicates the need for sugar and lots
it - we do not like our tea unsweetened. "Sweet milk" means
you don't want buttermilk.

20.) A true Southerner knows that if you are with a couple
of friends you, you could be with 2 or 10. The number
doesn't matter.

21.) And a true Southerner knows you don't scream
obscenities at little old ladies who drive 30 MPH on the
freeway. You just say, "Bless her heart" and go your own
way.


"No one can make you feel inferior without your consent." - Eleanor

Roosevelt