Q ~ How do you define double jeopardy?
A ~ When a lawyer calls in her partner.
* * *
Upon seeing an elderly lady for the drafting of her will, the attorney charged her $100. She gave him a $100 bill, not noticing that stuck to it was a second $100 bill.
Immediately the ethical question arose in the attorney’s mind: “Do I tell my partner?”
* * *
Q ~ What’s the difference between a cat and a lawyer?
A ~ One is an arrogant creature who will ignore you and treat you with contempt unless it can get something out of you. The other is a house pet.
* * *
Q ~ Why are there so many lawyers in the U.S.?
A ~ Because St. Patrick chased the snakes out of Ireland.
* * *
First lawyer: “Unmitigated liar!”
Second lawyer: “Lowdown cheat!”
Judge: “Now that the lawyers have identified themselves, let us proceed.”
* * *
A slightly unsure witness to a car crash kept saying things like, “I think the light was yellow,” or, “I think it was still raining.” The cross-examining lawyer interrupted, saying derisively, “We don’t care what you think. What do you know?” The harried witness paused for a moment and then replied, “Then I may as well leave the witness stand. Since I’m not a lawyer, I can’t talk without thinking.”
Please, NO MORE Lawyers!
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