Funny letter to the editor

This was in The News Herald on 11/23/02

"A holiday tradition free of minced words"
Mincemeat pie has been a traditional American holiday dessert. Most of us are still not familier with the history of this delicacy,nor the difficulties involved in preparing it.
Fresh mincemeat is difficult to obtain in recent years. Since the Mince Protection Act of 1911,mince season has been from late February to late March. Obviously,this does not correspond to the holiday saeson.
It's true that modern food preservation techniques such as freezing and canning allow mince to be safely stored. Nevertheless,many mince connoisseurs feel that these methods not only result in inferior pies bot also are not in keeping with the traditional nature of the dish.
Mince may be trapped and kept alive until needed,but this is expensive,as their diet is somewhat exotic. Also,being nervous creatures (not without reason),their survival rate in captivity is poor. Finally,the legality of keeping live mince is still in debate in all states except Hawaii,which is outside their natural range.
The Native American used a more traditional method. This is appropriate considering their connection with Thanksgiving traditions. The method consisted of beating the mincemeat to a shredded consistency with a rock. This,incidentally,is the origin of the threat,"make mincemeat out of you". The pulverized mincemeat was dried,mixed with fruits and herbs,and stored in clay pots for later use.
If you plan a mince hunt next year,consider this time-honored method of preserving your mince for the holiday season.
Written by..Jim Smith,Panama City

I read this and had to lookup mincemeat in the dictionary. My brain said there was no meat in the stuff,but Mr. Smith had me wondering. Talk about feeling like the Village Idiot...I'm still laughing at myself!!