Some warnings on foods and appliances. In case you needed further proof that the human race is doomed through stupidity here are some actual label instructions on consumer goods:
On Sears Hairdryer: Do Not Use While Sleeping.
(Gee, that’s the only time I have to work on my hair!)
On a bag of Fritos: You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside.
(Shoplifter special)
On a bar of Dial soap: Directions – use like regular soap.
(And that would be how?)
On some Swann frozen dinners: Serving suggestion – Defrost.
(But it’s “just” a suggestion)
On Tesco’s Tiramisu dessert: Do not turn upside down – printed on the bottom of the box.
(I love it, food to tick you off)
On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding: Product will be hot after heating.
(Are you sure???)
On packaging for a Rowenta iron: Do not iron clothes on body.
(It might save time; whose body?)
On Boot’s Children’s cough medicine: Do not drive car or operate machinery.
(We could reduce the rate of construction accidents if we just kept those 5-year-olds off those fork lifts)
On Nytol sleep aid: Warning – may cause drowiness.
(One would hope!)
On a Korean kitchen knife: Warning – keep out of children.
(Or pets! What’s for dinner?)
On a string of Chinese-made Christmas lights: For indoor or outdoor use only.
(As opposed to use in outer space, maybe, or underground?)
On a Japanese food processor: Not to be used for the other use.
(Now I’m curious)
On Sainsbury’s peanuts: Warning – may contain nuts.
On an American Airline packet of nuts: Instructions – open packet, eat nuts.
(Duhhhh)
On a Swedish chainsaw: Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands or genitals.
(Home castration kit)
On a child’s superman costume: Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly.
(That’s right, destroy a universal childhood fantasy!)
Joke Du Jour
Want to join? Register here. Already signed up? Click here to login!