ENGLISH BROKEN HERE
A collection of signs and notices written in English that were discovered throughout the world.
In a Paris Hotel Elevator:
Please leave your values at the front desk.
In a Hotel in Athens:
Visitors are expected to complain at the office between the hours of 9 and 11 am daily.
Outside a Hong Kong Tailor Shop:
Ladies may have a fit upstairs.
In a Zurich Hotel:
Because of the impropriety of entertaining guests of the opposite sex in the bedroom, it is suggested that the lobby be used for this purpose.
In the Lobby of a Moscow Hotel Across from a Russian Orthodox Monastery:
You are welcome to visit the cemetery where famous Russian and Soviet composers, artists, and writers are buried daily except Thursday.
In an Austrian Hotel Catering to Skiers:
Not to perambulate the corridors in the hours of repose in the boots of ascension.
On the Menu of a Swiss Restaurant:
Our wines leave you nothing to hope for.
In a Bangkok Dry Cleaners:
Drop your trousers here for best results.
In a Rhodes Tailor Shop:
Order your summers suit. Because is big rush we will execute customers in strict rotation.
In a Bucharest Hotel Lobby:
The lift is being fixed for the next day. During that time we regret that you will be unbearable.
In an Advertisement by a Hong Kong Dentist:
Teeth extracted by the latest Methodists.
In a Yugoslavian Hotel:
The flattening of underwear with pleasure is the job of the chambermaid.
In a Rome Laundry:
Ladies, leave your clothes here and spend the afternoon having a good time.
Advertisement for Donkey Rides in Thailand:
Would you like to ride on your own ass?
On the Door of a Moscow Hotel:
If this is your first visit to the USSR, you are welcome to it.
In an Acapulco Hotel:
The manager has personally passed all the water served here.
From a Brochure of a Car Rental Firm in Tokyo:
When passenger of foot heave in sight, tootle the horn. Trumpet him melodiously at first, but if he still obstacles your passage then tootle him with vigor.
In a Copenhagen Airport:
We take your bags and send them in all directions.
In a Budapest Zoo:
Please do not feed the animals. If you have any suitable food, give it to the guard on duty.
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