Name that viris

Subject: "Name That Virus"
"Name That Virus" "urn:schemas-microsoft-com:office:office"
The AL GORE virus: causes your computer to just keep counting.
The CLINTON virus: gives you a 7-inch hard drive with NO memory.
The BOB DOLE (AKA: VIAGRA) virus: makes a new hard drive out of an old floppy.
The LEWINSKY virus: sucks all the memory out of your computer, and then e-mails everyone about what it did.
The RONALD REAGAN virus: saves your data, but forgets where it is stored.
The JESSE JACKSON virus: warns you constantly about illegitimate file reproduction, while illegitimately reproducing files in the background.
The MIKE TYSON virus: quits after two bytes.
The OPRAH WINFREY virus: your 300 MB hard drive shrinks to 100 MB, then slowly expands to stabilize around 200 MB.
The JACK KEVORKIAN virus: deletes all old files.
The PROZAC virus: totally screws up your RAM while adjusting your processor to “don't care”.
The JOEY BUTTAFUOCO virus: only attacks minor files.
The ARNOLD SCHWARZENEGGER virus: terminates some files, leaves, but will be back. and last but not least ...
The LORENA BOBBITT virus: reformats your hard drive into a 3.5-inch floppy, and then discards it through Windows