Scottish Jokes Nr. 2 - 5

Double glazing is doing great business in Scotland in hope that the children cannot hear the ice-cream van when it comes round.

Angus called in to see his friend Donald to find he was stripping the wallpaper from the walls. Rather obviously, he remarked "You're decorating, I see." to which Donald replied "Naw. I'm moving house."

Old Tam, who had lost all his teeth, had a visit from the Meenister who noted that Tam had a bowl of almonds on the table in front of him. "May I have an almond", asked the Meenister.
"Och aye, help yerself Meenister," said Tam, "I can't eat them with no teeth. My Brother sent them to me as a present."
The Meenister tucked into them and then said "That was a funny present to give a man with no teeth."
To which Old Tam replied "Not really, they had chocolate on them..."

Callum decided to call his father-in-law the "Exorcist" because every time he came to visit he made the spirits disappear.

Wintermoor