Great stories,weezy and darius! I'm glad to know that it worked out good for both of you in the end! Especially you weezy with the bull moose!
I'm A Moose Matador
Hee hee Darius! That's a good one! I'm with Kooger on the furry thing though - you don't look at all furry to me!! LOL Thanks for sharing!!!
This site is just so much fun!!!
I think he was more than half asleep and just felt a weight next to himself on the bed... and didn't realize it was furry until it was too late!
In Alaska, we have many old yarns about fly-in trappers who throw their critters in the back of the plane, only to have them revive mid-flight. Now, a wolverine, especially a very upset wolverine, is a very dangerous fellow, and a definite distraction when you're operating a small aircraft.
From what I've read, they(wolverines) are one of the all-time nasties! Read a story about a DNR guy giving a talk to folks going on a mountain hike. Someone asked how far you should stay away if you see a moose. He told them 1.5 miles - and he wasn't kidding! He said they will track you and stomp you and are so unpredictable you can't depend on them to do anything you expect them to do. And you don't want to be in their face! Weez - what were you thinking?????????? lol - but it is still so funny, every time I read it!
P.S. I have a much less dramatic one concerning a van, a tree and a dog. hmmmmmmmmmm!
ROFL!! These are such funny stories!
My sister tells a story of coming home to visit at Christmas with her kids. Our folks lived on a property that backed up onto a wildlife area and consequently was very dark.
Late the first night, after getting the kids to bed, she was reading in the front living room. Suddenly she heard noises from the front porch. She listened and looked out the door but saw nothing so she settled down again. More noises. She turned off all the lights and looked out again...still nothing. When she heard noises again she flipped on all the exterior lights. Finally she saw a very large racoon leave the porch and settle on the lawn ... to eat a chocolate chip cookie! She'd left a cooler with snacks on the porch and the racoon found it. He'd open the cooler, grab a cookie and eat in out in the yard and then come back for more. The noises she was hearing was the thump of the cooler lid!
Floridian, we don't have raccoons up here, but I find them fascinating. I believe they have hands with opposing thumbs, so they can get into all sorts of trouble!
Kooger, I've asked myself the same question several times... 'What was I thinking!' This was a young bull moose, and he had attitude. I think the most dangerous to upset are cows with calves. Foolish tourists will get between cows and their calves to get close up pictures, and they are lucky if they don't get trampled. I've seen a moose wade across a deep snow bank to chase some dogs that were barking at it in their yard. OK, tell us about the van, the tree, and the dog.
Thanks Weez. As soon as I get through laughing at these hilarious stories, I'm going to give some serious thought about what kind of people fly around in what amounts to a KITE! LOL
Pati
I really enjoyed that one thanks darius - what a scream!!
You're right Weez - what a picture lol
Not as scary as your moose episode, but very very funny - poor guy.
I wonder if he ever ventured into the country again??
the van, the tree and the dog.........
A couple of years ago I ran a cookie route, delivering, selling, stocking shelves, etc. My area was rather large and the biggest day run was out to Platte, SD, about 360 miles and 11 stores. I usually got it done in 15 hours so I always tried to get out the door by 6 am. This particular morning it was already 6:15 and I needed to run down to the shop for a few extra boxes I thought I should take.
'Barney', our dearly beloved Cocker Spaniel, decided he needed to go wee-wee just as I was running out the door. Grrrrr! I'm thinking, stupid dog, now I have to wait for him. He has to find just the right spot and then he checks if you're looking and if you are, he has to find another 'right' spot! So, being the smart woman I am, I thought, I'll take him with me to the shop, then I can load the boxes while he does his thing, then I'll drop him off at home and I'm gone.
So, I threw him in the van, ran back into the house for something, and hopped in the van, ready to roll. I put my foot on the brake and shifted the van into reverse and I noticed I was moving backwards. Strange, my foot is on the brake! I press harder on the brake and I am still moving backwards. Panic is beginning to set in and now I am going down the driveway, across the street and into the park, backwards!
Thankfully there is a small ditch, 3' maybe, and we stop there. Whew, finally stopped, I can figure out what is going on here!!! Suddenly we are racing backwards, much, much faster than before. Dirt is flying, trees are going by quickly and I don't have a clue why this is happening! I try to get my foot back on the brake, and then can't, Barney is in the way. BANG!! Finally we are stopped for good. Another tree! Whew! Oh no! But what a relief! At least now I can try and figure out what happened.
Took a few minutes but I figured it out. Barney was on the gas pedal the whole time. When we stopped in the ditch, the van bounced, we both bounced and Barney was off the gas pedal. Then he landed back on it with the force of his bounce and his 25 lbs. POWER!!!!
Now you try and explain that one to the insurance man or your husband who is out on the road. Not fun!! Then the insurance man says he has to tape the phone conversation and the guys at the coffee shop (who my DH was so kind to tell), figured he was recording it to win the 'dumbest' claim award at the national convention. They also thought Barney should lose his license.
Personally, I don't think they have a 'dumbest' claim award, at least I sure hope not!
So that's the van, the tree and the dog story. Hope you enjoyed it!
Immensely, kooger! LOL!
Kooger, I'm so sorry .... but .... ROTFLMAO! I'm really glad you weren't hurt, but since I knwo you weren't in the end I just can't stop laughing! Thanks so much for the morning giggle and for being the kidn of person who can tell a story like this rather than hide it away! Good for you! :-)
-Julie
I was pretty sore and stiff and Barney had a seizure as soon as I let him out. Poor guy. Ins. co. talked about totalling the van at first, then decided to fix it.
I emailed all my sibs a few weeks after it happened. Dad was visiting my one sis in Vancouver, so I asked him if he read my email. "Oh yeah", he says, "I not only read it, I had her print me a few copies. That's a classic, Lor!!" Thanks, Pa!
Oh kooger, that was bad - thank goodness it wasn't more serious!
I've now got visions of the performing dog - on the pedal, off the pedal ON the pedal :O
Thanks for the laugh!!
Bad DOG!!!
:)
Too funny, Laura! Glad you were not hurt. I've almost wrecked a couple of times when my cat or my small dog got under the brake pedal.
Great story, Kooger! Next time, turn off the ignition. ;)
now, why didn't I think of that? lol Barney got his license revoked so there's no chance of a rerun!
I've heard of dogs locking their owners (chauffeurs) out of the car by hitting the button, but I've never heard of one trying to drag race! Is it the dog's fault you had it in reverse, I ask you? LOL!
reverse was better than D, that would have been through the garage door!
Kooger, if only you could speak dog. Perhaps Barney said, 'Let's crank 'er up and see what this baby will do!' How is a dog to see out the windshield and operate the gas pedal at the same time.
I think he was as confused as I was - why can't she get her feet outa my way!
Well, Kooger, I'm sure he's forgiven you for it by now! LOL!
Bumping this one up. Its hilariously written and performed and deserves to be read by others also.
Janett
Thanks, Janett! I'd forgotten all about this one. The whole thread is full of great stories, each one offering some mental pictures that can cause a belly laugh!
I loved this thread the first time I saw it.....gonna hafta take a gander at it again. :-)
can cause ??? heck I already had a belly ache after picturing you "matadoring" that bull ROFLOL and the rest of the posting didn't help my stomach either. I even had my son reading it and he had some serious giggle attacks from this tread.
Now don't try to become a grease spotted glove wearing puddle on the ground again will you!!?
Janett
Well, at this point, I'm perfectly willing to let the moose eat my garden... it's under snow!
I'd never seen this thread until just now. I have laughed so hard at these stories that I have tears running down my face. Thanks for sharing these adventures. The stuff in the toilet almost sent me onto the floor I was laughing so hard. That and the stump of net he had left. I also own a Cocker, and she rides in the BACK seat only, so I can picture you with that silly dog in the way of your brake pedal. I open the back car window just enough for her to get her head and ears out. If we travel far enough, it takes me forever to get the mats out of her ears that the wind causes blowing through her tresses. I have really enjoyed this thread a lot.
This thread has been hilarious. I loved the moose story and I'm glad you're safe. Then the van and the dog story really had me in stitches. It reminded me of Garrison Keillor's story about the mouse, hidden in the seat of the corn driller, unbeknownst to the owner who ended up on quite a ride.
We once had an experience, in our own vegetable garden, as we were going through it and sharing the goodies with a friend. We had the Jalapeno plants a few feet from the tomatoes that we were giving her. We noticed a vole running round and round, over and over, around the Jalapeno plant - chasing his tail. He must have taken a few bites and it had it's effect on the poor thing.
No match for the stories by Weez and Kooger but much safer.
What a coincidence that Janett would revive this thread on Fri. We had to put Barney down, and Fri was his last day. He was a stray and we had him 11.5 years so we are really missing him. Rereading his most serious 'crime' brought tears to my eyes and precious memories. The tree in the park still bears the scar from the crash scene. He was such a personality, definitely a 'mommy's dog'. DH would sometimes try to call him away from the window by the door where he would wait patiently for me to return. And then u would think I had been gone for a week, the welcome he would give me! Only after they are gone, do u realize how many times a day u think of them and check on them. Yup, he was my baby! (sad smile) ....pic is DGD saying good bye and telling Barney he'll be in heaven with Opa, (my dad).
As always in life, laughter and tears go hand in hand. The mental vision of Weez and that moose will always cause a smile and a shudder in me. :)
Oh Kooger, I'm so sorry you have lost your friend.
No words, just ((((((hugs)))))
Pati
It was Equillibrium and Floridian that was looking for Datdogs vulture tread in the "Vultures are to funny" and I had resently been reading it and we got to talk about it when Floridian asked if I had read this one and I had so I bumped this one up.
Oh so sorry to hear that your dog is gone. (((hugs)))
It so darn hard to loose a pet and even more when they have been with you for a very long time, most of the dayli choresrevolves around checking dogs and kids. I lost my Zorro a few years back to cancer and i almost drove me nuts, all that oh have to feed the dog, time to get out for a walk, just to realise that thers no one to walk with. No more warm furry thing taking up all the space in bed.
So I got me a new 220 llbs furry thingy from a shelter in Lanzarote. Canary Islans
Janett
This message was edited Jan 29, 2006 9:20 PM
Thanks for the hugs, they all help. And so true, Janett, daily life definitely revolves around kids and pets. And it's the first thing I did in the morning - let the dog out and the last thing at night! And whenever I sat at the computer, he slept between me and the door. And at night he preferred sleeping between my side of the bed and the door - can't count how many times I stumbled over him in the middle of the night and then would love him up for the oopsie! It's been over 2 years since he could jump up on the bed with us. The last half year he slept more at the end of the hallway, about in the middle of the house. We suspect his hearing was going and he could no longer hear the kids coming and going from our bedroom. Recently, I was out of the car and in the house before he even heard me! But that was really minor, besides the health problems.
As I mentioned on the Coffee Thread, I would dearly love a blue marle (sp?) sheltie but we're planning on going dogless for awhile. I'm gone too many hours in a week to do justice to a new dog. I'm hoping to cut back a bit on hours in a year or two and then look. (until another stray finds us? smile) And that 220 lb. furry thing there is a beauty! You flew him back from the Canary Islands? wow! bet that was an adventure! but don't u just love tusseling with a BIG dog? There's just nothing like wrestling on fresh spring grass with a big dog!!
I'm so sorry about your Barney being gone. I had to put my best friend/best dog down several years ago when she was getting old and in too much pain. Some dogs are just so special to us and even though we love others, they still hold a place in our hearts.
Diane
I have always had a soft spo for BIG dogs :0)) the bigger the more there is to love and cuddle with
Yeah ......that is a story all by itself
A friend Ann in Gothenburg that placed dogs from this shelter flew down to get him I had only seen him on pictures and knew what size he was. Being a big bossy male about 4 years old. Me and my son had a discussion on if he would dare to go a few rounds for the position of being the top dog. I told him Tayson may bite you a few times and he is B.I.G. He decided that Tayson was worth the risk and deserved a good live, being locked up prison like for three years.
Ann was going to fly down and be there for a week and on her way home was going to take Tayson and two other rescue dogs with her, she had a permit from British Airway of taking 3 not the ordinary 2 dogs on each flight.
Well when you fly from Lanzarote (outside the coast of Africa for those who don't know where it is) she flew over Spain and Portugal almost when they reach Portugal she get the words from one of the flightstewardes that one of the dogs was still on the ground in Lanzarote.
She freaked and got hysterical. Forced the plain to land, And in rage demanded the plane to go back and GET THAT DOG. I personally cleared and checked the dog in you better get him, Sadly there where one flighcommand department that didn't allow them to go back.
I then lived in Stockholm and was on my way down to Gothenburg to meet up with her, got a somewhat nutty hysterical not making much sense phone call from Ann yelling that Tayson in his cage is all alone sitting in Lanzarote airport and no one there knew he was left.
She finally got a hold of Andrea the person in charge at the Shelter and she took him home to her. Ann was forced to continue the flight to Gothenburg
What had happened was that the Pilot in his last check before liftoff, noticed that there was on dog more then allowed and gave order that my big baby should be unloaded. grrrrrrrrrrr he hadn't got the clearance from the check in desk that we HAD permit from his company to have 3 dogs on board. The woman there had made a HUGE blunder. she should have made the notification that it was a special delivery / luggage agreement.
Oboy did she get a mouthful from all over the place.
The pilot that made the error occur promised that on his next Friday flight two weeks later he would personally get Tayson home. So two weeks later Tayson arrived to Gothenburg as the Pilots personally luggage.
Some ride he had to get to us.
Janett
That's quite a story about Tayson, Janett! What a world traveler!
Kooger, bless Barney's big ol' heart... he was a real cutey. There is something about that stout stance that old dogs get.. it just makes me smile. We have two old dogs in the house. The youngest is 12 and her mother is 16, so we will soon be sharing that sense of loss, I am sure. I'm really glad that this old thread popped up again to give you a reminder of that adventure you and Barney shared.
Kooger - my heartfelt sympathy goes to you and your family on the loss of Barney. Now is the time you'll be told to remember all the good times but each good time brings more tears. I've been through it too many times and last August 13th was the end for our Suga, a rescue beagle. I'm so very sorry.
Can you believe that after Katrina, some government workers didn’t know people would rather die than leave their pets behind. I would have been one of them. Thank y'all for a morning's enjoyment reading your stories.
These are our babies.
Oh my goodness....now there's a picture to bring a smile to your face. LOL
Do these charmers have names?
Pati