Crabgrass can grow on bowling balls in airless rooms, and there is no known way
to kill it that does not involve nuclear weapons.
- Dave Barry (love him)
The philosopher who said that work well done never needs doing over
never weeded a garden.
A new business was opening and one of the owner's friends wanted to send
him flowers for the occasion. The flowers arrived at the new business site and
the owner read the card: "Rest in Peace."
The owner was annoyed, and called to complain."Sir, I'm really sorry for the
mistake, and sorry you were offended," said the florist. "But even worse, somewhere
there is a funeral taking place today, and they have flowers with a note saying,
"Congratulations on your new location."
Men are like a fine wine. They all start out like
grapes, and it's our job to stomp on them and
keep them in the dark until they mature into
something you'd want to have dinner with. (sorry guys)
