SEVERE CLINICAL DEPRESSION

HI I'M Boatleaf Betty-I struggle with severe depression. I write about this sometimes on THE URBAN QUIPSTER thread on the CLEAN AND CLUTTER-FREE forum, as both issues are connected. Right now, after a long period of tremendous progress and functioning very well, the depression monster is back in full force & I feel like a deflated balloon. This was triggered by someone who I considered a close trusted friend verbally eviscerating me over the Christmas holidays. Since then I've had trouble functioning. I just became a subscriber so I can now post here. I am struggling so much that I feel ashamed to post on THE URBAN QUIPSTER thread even tho I started it. I am ashamed to tell people that I am on disability for depression and that at times like this I become so confused that if I was not educated about depression I might think that I was developing Alzheimer's. Now, someone reading this might say, "But you express yourself clearly, you don't sound confused at all.'' Yes, but I have to do laundry because I have no clean clothes and right now I feel so confused that I can't figure out how to go about doing it. This has been going on for days and my clothes smell and I am having suicidal thoughts because I feel like I am letting people down. DON'T WORRY, I HAVE SAFEGUARDS IN PLACE TO PREVENT SUICIDE BUT I FEEL WORTHLESS AND AM AFRAID EVERYONE WILL RIDICULE ME THE WAY MY FRIEND DID. I am going to call a prayer line now. This is absolutely terrifying. Please pray for me guys. Betty