Seems like this has become a nice communication line so I am keeping it going. Not just for my sake but for anyone that just needs a hug or someone to listen to them. You all have been so kind and understanding and have been there for me though all of this.
Please, feel free to share if you need someone just to listen. It helps It really does.
My heart really smiles when I meet a really nice, beautiful person. Jan, you make my heart smile! Thank you!
Jan, I echo the sentiments sent by others. It especially hurts when we lose someone that is estranged from us because we lose the opportunity of reconcilation. But, as was said already, you & Your husband didn't cut him out, he took himself out of the family by his choice. That will make the relationship you have with his sister even cherished more. You are blessed to have her and the children in your life.
Thank you for continuing the thread, getting extra love and support is ALWAYS a good thing!
Be good to yourself and give your husband an extra hug from my husband and me. May you both be comforted.
Pat
Thanks for the new thread Jan!
I guess that we are trading feeling and sharing friendships and we have swapped gifts. SO I guess it is still in the right place.
Oh, Jan, I'm sure this news was quite a shock for both you and your husband. I'll be praying that you both are comforted in your time of need.
That will be very special for you both to get to know your stepdaughter and her children better.
Michelle
I am so looking forward to meeting my new stepdaughter and grand children. Greg will get to see them when he goes to the memorial service on April 20th.
Thank you all. I am really feeling the drain on my spirits and trying hard to keep it going for my husband as well as myself. We are going to the memorial service
for Linda on Saturday. Been a tough month. April has got to be better.
(((((((((((((((((((((((((((HUGS))))))))))))))))))))))
hugs Jan ♥♥♥
Thank you all, it was a very warm and awesome memorial service and the first one I have walk away from a service with a smile in my heart and a chuckle in my throat from all the great stories told by many of the past state police officers that she worked with as a dispatcher for 30 years. There was standing room only and so obvious that Linda was loved by so many people. I am so going to miss her.
Jan, please know that my thoughts & prayers are with you, your husband & Linda's family....as I've read along I've cried with you, I'm so very sorry but feel you are where you are to be......those fur kids know Momma left them in good hands.....I'm so very sorry for your husband's loss....that's a hard one...I lost my daddy during an estrangement, was going to say I was sorry & get back on track with him & then his heart stopped early one morning & there was no more time....I understand.....I've missed him every day since 11/8/1981.....
Oh, I am sorry, you do understand the feelings that my dear Husband is experiencing. It is tough but I am so glad that his granddaughter and Greg with get a chance to know each other at his service. He is going to spend a week with all the family while he is there.
Glad to hear you had a good memorial service for Linda!
Jan, I'm glad to hear the service was so beautiful and uplifting. If she was a dispatching AND had a good sense of humor, I'm sure there were LOTS of wonderful stories to share!
I wish more memorial services were like that, a celebration of a person's life and with LOTS of shared memories. My husband and I have talked some about what "we want" but really should talk again about it and let other family members know our wishes.
I think that if you know that time is getting closer the kindest thing to do is to start decluttering and clearing out and giving things to your children that you know they want now vs waiting till you are gone unless of course you still use it. I have been packing sweet Lindas collections of so many things that its even hard to see a light at the end of the tunnel. The basement is a nightmare so I'm not ever going to go there yet. Plus packing all our house up too as we will be moving into her home starting this month and hope to be out of this house by the end of May.
God willing.
wish I could be there to help, Jan....prayers for strength....
Jan, I totally agree but at 58 I have no reason to think my "time is near" however, I still think reducing clutter and marking stuff for others is a good idea no matter what.
Pat we are pretty close in age, I will be 58 on 13 June!
Oh no, me neither, but I tell you what, I am going to find out early if there are any special things that my girls want me to save especially for them and if there is any interest in some of my other things. That way when I get ready to have a yard sale, garage sale or what ever, its going in it. I am moving now in a month, and maybe again in five years and I will be 68. My daughters want us to move to San Antonio, TX so that, should get more ill, I will be closer, Makes since to me as I do have liver disease that won't be getting better, only worse but it is slow so far. It has gone into cirrhosis but early stages so as long as I live my life healthy, no smoke, no drink, no fun heheheh I should be okay for at least another 5 years. But Linda knew that her prognosis was not good and should have been thinking a bit ahead. All she would say is I am just leaving it all to Michele and she can so what she wants with it. SOoooo..... I have been packing and packing and still just touching the surface. hehehe, Gotta love her.
Ya, but Linda probably just didn't want to spend her last days "working". She wanted to enjoy them LIVING.
I need to send instructions to a sewing buddy or somebody "who understands" and not let my husband into my sewing room after I die!! LOL Humm... maybe I can get an agreement out of him if I offer him the same deal for his tools??? LOL
You are too funny, You are absolutely right. I am basically downsizing since I have to move now and then possibly again in another 5 years. Oh holy crap, I hope not. I want to be near my children but not in Texas
Hi, all.
Jan, I know it's a lot of work to sort through everything for Linda, but I hope that you'll enjoy many happy memories, too.
Michelle
Psychw2 you know I am sure that you are so right in you words. If I knew that I was going to die, getting rid of my stuff would be the last thing on my mind. How selfish a thought that was of me. Seriously, I guess I just got overwhelmed by how much she had. That was just Linda. I think I have counted about 15 pair of tennis shoes. hehehe, I found more under her bed. Her daughter said that she thinks it made her feel safe with a lot of things around her because she had such a bad childhood. This is so understandable, as she probably felt more secure being surrounded by her things knowing she wouldn't be going into another foster home or moved around again, She was a collector of pretty things, glass, paintings, jewelry. Dishes and kitchen ware forever and she love embroidered linens. I miss her so much but I feel like she is still with me every day. If you have to lose a friend, this is the best way to find out just what her life was all about.
Oh Jan, I did not mean to imply you were being selfish at all. When my grandparents prepared for their eventual death, they pared down their belongings and marked stuff for who it was to go to. I remember, I asked for a beautiful crocheted bedspread (my aunt beat me to it! LOL). My point was, if the time is SHORT, I think the priorities probably change. I have known plenty of people who knew for a year or more that they were terminal and did nothing to prepare. Not even change the life insurance from Ex to current wife!! YIKES!
My grandparents wanted to travel and they wanted to make it easier for us to take care of their house etc. Also make it less apt to be broke into during their absence!
Living in someone's home with their STUFF, and going thru it has to be a very initimate thing. Like you said, "best way to find out just what her life was all about!" I'm glad to hear you feel her presence, I hope you have chosen some embroidered linens to comfort you with in her absence.
Her daughter has been very generous in what I ask to keep and I am only asking for small things. Like I say, we may be having to move again and Lord help us we have someone else to do the packing.
Baxter is at the Vets today, getting his fuzzy walnuts removed. I feel so rotten about that, that I have been sick to my tummy all morning. Our Lab Phoebe was very upset to see her little brother Baxter going somewhere with out her so I took her for a walk.
Hummmm.... I just be heartless!! I always took the pets to the vet with a happy heart that "THAT problem" was eliminated! I've always thought it gave the pets a better quality of life.
Psychw2
He came through it like a trooper but is sleeping off the Anesthesia now and snoring like his Daddy. They spray the incision with bitter apple and Phoebe had to check him over and found that bitter apple is nasty business. She sort of jumped back and really sort of spit then sneezed. Good stuff. Look at this little guy. They didn't put a collar on him as his neck is bigger than his head and the stitches are on the inside so they will dissolve and he doesn't have to go back.
Look at that sweet little boy. I bought him a fuzzy little beaver with a squeaky toy but he was too sleepy. So.... Phoebe claimed it and has already slimmed it.
Awe, poor thing looks so comfy! They did the same thing when we had our german shepherd fixed 2 weeks ago, all inside stitches, and no collar.
Yea about the stitches. He had, I take that back, WE had a very sleepless night. I wanted to snuggle then he would want down so I didn't want him to jump, then he would want back up. You can not ignore Baxter. No how no way. He whines and when that doesn't work he screams. eheheh. I finally gave him a pill at 3:00 am as I had to get some sleep and I think he was feeling uncomfortable too.
Today he is wanting to lick and the bitter apple she put on it must have worn off. Going to have to give them a call in a bit and see what I can put on it. He seems to be fine except a little cough and gag from the tube they have to use during the anesthesia, She told me that he would do that. He is such the woosey puppy.
She did say he was obese and has to lose 10% of his body weight which means no more breakfast club with dad and not more can food with the kibble. He weighs 45 lbs. No wonder I can hardly pick him up but a lot is his build and muscle as he is strong as a little bull. His dads name was Dozer like bulldozer, I think I should have named him Tank like Sherman tank.
Goodness but he is a cute little guy... er... rather TANK at 45 pounds!
Things have really changed in the methods used for neutering pets. Years ago I had a male cat that I had my dad and uncle 'cut'. They just wrapped the cat in a small rug with his read end showing , one held the cat and the other one took out his trusty pocket knife and in a matter of seconds it was all over. My dad and uncle were cowboys and had been 'cutting' cattle and horses for years so a cat was nothing. Five minutes later the cat was just fine. Like nothing happened. He even played with the rug!! No anesthesia, no stitches, no bleeding. Recently I took my new kitten Ralph to be 'fixed'. No food after midnight, a 30 mile drive at 6:30 in the morning, look for a second mortgage on the house to pay for the 'fixing', pick up a groggy kitty a few hours later, plus pain meds (which I didn't use) a 30 mile drive home with a sleeping Ralph. After he slept off the anesthesia it was back to Richochet Ralph or Rotten Ralph. I know he will be a healthier cat and a lot better to live with. Well, after he gets over his terrible two's behavior.....
Yea!!! Baxter is back to his ole self again. He can even play cowboy again on his favorite armchair,
Kimber and Abby have gone to there forever home with my dear friends other friend who she had asked to take them but her husband was having health issues so I cared for them for about two weeks. They are happy now and have company all the time. I am happy for them. I am also happy that I don't have to deal with getting four dogs to get acquainted along with everything else that I need to still do.
Baxter is still sniffing but not as bad as it was. I am so relieved as I am sure that Phoebe is too.
Do they EVER get over the Terrible Twos? I just figured I was stuck with a Two-Year-Old forever!!! She can be such a naughty kitty! she's about 3.5 years now.
Awww! Baxter is adorable! This is Ralph. Don't let his innocent demeaner fool you. He is a little terror..... Love him anyway.
Someone gave me a Mackerel tabby that had been found on a beach with two other kittens and the mother was dead. so sad. Anyway, when I took it to the vets to be examined he was ecstatic and said I had a perfect tabby. He had a perfect Bullseye design on both sides and why I keep saying he was a she and we called her mama kitty. I don't know why but it stuck. SHE was an awesome kitty but I kept waking up with her sucking on my eyelids. I actually woke up with a hicky on my eyelid once. I know that some kitties never outgrow terrible two's but I don't really know that much about kitties, I am a dog person.
Jan, do you have a picture of your kitty? SHE sounds beautiful. Yes, it is also true that some kittens who were taken from their mother too soon do not seem to out grow the tendency to try to "nurse".
No that was long before digital and I lost everything in a storage unit about 25 years ago in a fire. Wish I did.
bummer, i'm sorry.
ohh I think Ralph looks like he could be very well full of mischief !!! Our last dog, Chinook, lab and border collie loved to do the cowboy on the back of the sofa!!
glad Baxter is feeling all better.
