Northeast Gardening:A Carol for NE Gardeners

DonShirer Westbrook, CT(Zone 6a) Dec 14, 2011

Fifty years ago, my wife and I wrote a Christmas Carol for our friends, and have been doing so every holiday season since. Unfortunately I haven't figured out a way to include the music in this forum, but this year we wrote one that doesn't require a melody, soooo... Merry Christmas to all you Northeast gardeners (and our visitors as well)!

CHRISTMAS RAPPING **

by Don (Tuba Daddy) and Karen (Li�l K) Shirer
Christmas 2011

Yo, Mista Santa, I hope you�re not nappin�.
For you gotta listen up to my Christmas rappin�.
I seen you on the teevee, movies, things like that.
I�ll tell it to you straight man, you�re gettin� too fat!

Santa you�re a chunky monkey, sad but true,
You�ll never fit the space inside my chim-i-ney flue.
Since your belly�s packin� far too much a-voir-du-pois,
There�s no room in your sleigh for all those child-er-un�s toys.

Your overloaded sled causes so much hysterias,
That Rudolph has to route you past unoccupied areas.
No doubt you�ll soon be sued by an OSHA attorney, as
Dasher and Dancer are both poppin� hernias.

So Santa lets speak plainly, gotta cut down on food.
I�m sure that Mrs. Claus will try to improve your mood.
So until your rotundity�s more ap-ro-pos,
You gotta quit that snackin� on those Hostess Ho-Hos.

It�s yogurt for your breakfast and carrots for your dinner.
No lunchin� or munchin� until you get thinner.
No more with the seconds and �egg nog for two�,
From now on its the salads and rice cakes for you.

So Santa please confirm this Christmas res-o-lution,
Let�s restore you to your former healthy con-sti-tution.
I�m hopin� you take my advice and sincerely try it.
Merry Christmas to you all, and to all a good diet!

** (Rappers don�t need melodies, you know what I mean,
So rap this to the rhythm of your drum machine.)