Crossroads at Ranch Rehab

The time has come to renew my license as a rehabber in Michigan. New rules have been passed that requires us to take a continuing education course to renew. It's frustrating. They thankfully, have classes on line that will qualify, but it costs an average of $100 per course. Courses covering knowledge that most of us have had for years and years. Isn't it enough that we have to bear the cost to feed house and care for these animals? Somebody has to make a profit off of us too?

This and the events of the past 5 months have brought me to a crossroads. To continue or to stop. while I simply cannot imagine my life without the fawns and other animals, it certainly would be nice to be able to leave the house for more than a few hours without a baby bird or squirrel in my pocket. We have not had anything that resembles a vacation or even weekend away in the summer for many, many years.

I know that it is not just the question of whether I can keep the animals safe with the neighbor situation, though that has a great deal of influence on my decision. My confidence has been severely shaken not only by by their actions, but also by what happened last summer before the dogs breached the fence. Maybe someone here can help me sort it out.

Early last August, a DNR officer brought me a young bob cat. It had been captured and taken from the woods by two juvenile boys who thought it would make a nice pet. In ignorance of the ramifications of trying to keep such an animal captive, their mother allowed them to do this. As boys will do, they brought their friends in to see their new "pet". Terrified, the kitten scratched and bit some of the children. This finally convinced the mother that this might not be such a good idea after all and she called the DNR. The officer gladly came to get the cat and hoped the boys had learned their lesson about wild cats. I was the first person that the officer thought to bring the poor frightened animal to.

He arrived with a hissing, spitting, ball of speckled malevolence in a large pet crate. He offered my his heavy leather gloves and gauntlets, but declined to reach into the cage again, himself. I set the gloves aside and put the crate on the table where I could get at eye level with the cat. I spoke gently to it for a few moments and slowly opened the door. Very carefully I slid my hand in the cage. Talking all the while, i met the cats gaze with my own. It was electrifying. That tiny 4 pound animal had the strongest spirit I had ever come in contact with. It was the pure essence of the wilderness. An animal soul, undomesticated and untouched by millenia of man's interference. I don't know how we communicated, but we did on a very primal level. The cat was accepting me.

With my bare hands I reached in and stroked the cat. I gently curled my hands about it's warm speckled body and lifted it. It recognised the firmness of my hands as authority and security and did not try to fight. I examined it and placed it in a comfortable cage I had prepared for it. As soon as the door was closed I heard an audible exhalation behind me. It was the young officer. His eyes were large as saucers and he said to me, "You are a goddess! I can't believe that you could do that. This hell cat bit right through my gloves and ripped my partners shirt. Yet, you charm the wild beast and cuddle it to your chest. A goddess, an absolute goddess!"

I kind of giggled at that, but hey, I don't get called a goddess by handsome young men very often and I ate it up. He stuck around long enough to watch me feed the cat, settle it with a stuffed "lovie" toy and darken the cage with a blanket. He left, still thinking that I was magical. Over the next 5 days, I spent a great deal of time with the cub. I knew I would need to have a stable, trusting relationship with it in order to maintain enough control over it to eventually restore it to the wild. Sometimes we would just stare into each others eyes. It was if it allowed me to experience some of it's wild soul through those eyes. It wasn't long before i could scratch it's ears and tummy and play kitten games like any house cat kitten. But it wasn't a house cat and I needed to remember that. It was still a wild animal and would always be.

On the sixth morning I got a horrifying phone call. It was a biologist from the DNR saying that one of the mothers had taken her son to the doctor to have his scratches looked at and the clinic called the health department. The health department was demanding that the cat be killed and tested for rabies. I begged to find an alternative. Rabies is so rare in our area of Michigan that the possibility was minuscule that the cat could be infected. The cat was now confined and we could observe it for signs. Better yet, I thought the boys should have to get the series of seven shots just to teach them a lesson that it was not acceptable to steal wild babies from the woods. It was all to no avail. The law was the law and they would be picking up the bobcat that afternoon.

I cried all morning. I wracked my brain for ways to keep them from taking this magnificent animal,killing it, cutting it's head off and then shining an ultraviolet light on it's brain to see if it glowed green.We all knew there would be no fluorescence in it's brain tissue. The cat was absolutely healthy. Worse yet, the cat trusted me. Each time I looked in it's eyes, I could sense that it was confident I'd make the proper choice.

I frantically went through several scenarios. I could hide the cat and tell the officer that the cat had died a few days before and we had already buried it. (they would want to did it up) I thought about telling them that the cat was old enough that I decided to release it early and it was gone. (they knew it wasn't and I never would risk it) Finally, I thought that I could tell them that the cat had escaped somehow and I could not find it. (They all knew me well enough to know that animals seldom escape from me.) Then there was the truth issue. Could I lie to these men who trusted that I would do the right thing when it comes to the animals?

If I lied, I could and would loose my rehabilitation license. In addition, one or more of the officers involved may well loose their job. Could I be responsible for that? Could I risk that beautiful young man who believed I was a goddess? Finally it came down to the fact that it was the law and laws are written to be obeyed. I would turn the cat in.

As I prepared the travel box with food and water and a favorite toy or two, I begged the cat to forgive me. It's golden eyes never left my face. It was calm and quiet as I scratched it's ears and rubbed it's speckled tummy. My heart was breaking. Soon a state truck pulled up and two officers got out to take posession of the cat. Both were heartsick about what was about to be done. They let the cat stay in the cage that he in and promised to return it and the contents later. I was glad. If the cat were in familiar surroundings, I would not be as frightened. They drove away with heavy hearts. I felt like I had betrayed a spirit of pure joy and sent it to the gallows.

A few days later I received the call that said what we all knew all along. The cat's brain was clean. It had been killed for no reason other than an inconsiderate woman and two inadequately supervised little boys. What an absolute waste of a magnificent animal with endless potential.

For weeks, I questioned myself over whether I had done the right thing. Should I have run with the cat? Sure I may have saved him, but how may others would die because I would no longer be able to care for them. My confidence began to crumble. I was afraid to release some raccoons, because I was unsure if they were ready. If I lost a baby bunny or squirrel, I automatically thought it was my fault and wracked my brain to see where I had failed it. All the time the golden eyes of that cat haunted me.

By the time the neighbors dogs killed the chickens a few weeks later and then went after me in court, I had lost my confidence entirely .As things got worse, the animals that were here wouldn't come near me because I "smelled" different. I smelled of fear. I could no longer fearlessly reach in with a wild animal and know it would not bite or attack me. Finally through self doubt and fear that I couldn't keep the animals safe from dogs any more, I stopped taking in wild-lings. Ranch Rehab closed for the season on a sad note.

Now, even though the legal issues are far from settled, I need to decide whether to continue or not. I tried my best to uphold the law and do the right thing, and then the law gets turned around against me. That is a bitter pill to swallow. Do I really do enough good to make up the difference. When I completed my year end paper work tonight, I saw that I handled over 100 animals at Ranch Rehab this year. Approximately 75% have survived, including Pumpkin the doe who still comes to the door on a daily basis for her treat of candy corn. How could I give that up?

I'd appreciate any input or encouragement at this point from my friends at Daves. You are my voices in the wilderness that keep calling me to the right directions. Thanks. jyl

You are one in a million. I dont think your ready to give up what you do just yet, what would all the critters do without you? What would you do without all the critters you save? Give it another year and see how you feel then. I really enjoy all your posts and pics.
Christine

I've followed your threads for a few years, now, in quiet respect & gratitude for the work you do. Words cannot convey the entertainment & sense of wonder you've brought to me.

However, feeling burdened & stressed will change the joy you find &, as you've seen, the way you relate to those you rescue (& vice versa). Many of us have experienced the power of stress to disrupt one's personal balance. (I used to stop any watch I wore, while going through a difficult divorce - LOL!)

Is it possible for you to take some time off - ie. 6 months, a year, whatever it takes, until your life regains its equilibrium & you have time for a vacation. I suspect you won't be able to stay away from your critters for long.

Good luck with this difficult decision.

Liz

All I can do is pray for you. Like the other two posters, I have followed along (in awe) at what you have done. I will pray that you come to a decision that gives you peace.

I think what I will do is renew my license and then see what happens. If I let it lapse, I may not be able to get it back without great difficulty. As far as the cost goes...what's 100 bucks when you have already paid $10,000 in legal fees for something else? My family had fits when I mentoned not renewing. I guess they can't imagine life without the fawns either. We'll just have to see what happens.

If you do not renew your license and "get caught" rehabbing an animal, wouldn't the law come down on you pretty hard? You probably could not turn all of the animals away either. There would be one here and there that you knew would only live if it was in your care... It probably would be better to renew it.

Hi jy, I have always enjoyed your threads. I think it's a good decision that you renew your license. Taking some time off for yourself might be just as wise. You deserve it and need it! It doesn't have to be for a long time, just for as long as you need. Best wishes!

I think you are right. Renew your license. Take a little break and give back to yourself a little and you will be renewed.

Sounds like you've made the right decision. No doors closed & time to rehab yourself.

I am a lurker and follow your threads...I always enjoy them, and I share your grief for that cat...I would advise that you renew...like you say, if you let it lapse, it may be difficult to get another one.
Here is to hoping the goddess returns!

I'm moved by what you do, and am very confident, you'll find your balance again. What the other have suggested, I totally agree with. The world needs more people like you, that really cares.

Well said

For what it's worth, jyl, I spent many years working in animal shelters; during that time, I developed a profound interest in and respect for the wildlife in our area. Their ability to adapt to humans' very disruptive presence in their environment, their ability to resolve most all disputes without bloodshed, their wisdom and grace: I could go on and on. I was lucky to work for an organization that was proactive about wildlife, trying to educate the public, and making full use of the area's rehabbers whenever possible. I earned a rehabber's license for myself, so that we would be legal in the rare instances when wildlife had to be held overnight; and we had the same continuing ed requirement, BTW. We we located in northern VA, an area with a very high incidence of rabies in raccoons. Some years were much worse than others for raccoon rabies; some summers, it seemed like every other coon I picked up was deathly ill; and I learned to hate that disease and the toll it takes on beautiful animals full of life and spirit. During epidemic years, our health dept. would require that all raccoons we picked up be euthanized and tested for rabies. I understood, since their priority was human health; but it broke my heart every time I'd be forced to pick up a raccoon who seemed healthy, euthanize and decapitate them for testing; a bit of me died every time, along with them. Like you, I struggled with the decision every time: to fudge the paperwork and release an apparently healthy animal, or do the unthinkable and subject another unique and irreplaceable animal to possibly unnecessary death and testing. Most times I followed the law with heavy heart, since I couldn't afford to lose my job, and truly didn't want to risk the health of humans or other animals who might encounter that raccoon if my gut feeling that she/he was healthy was wrong.

Through those years, I thanked the gods daily for the wildlife rehabbers who graciously helped to train me for my own license, taught me patiently and brilliantly on species of all kinds, and who routinely worked miracles with the animals I brought to them. We were only equipped for very short-term wildlife housing at the shelter; the priority was always to get them to a rehabber ASAP. Shelter life was daily stressful, and often depressing beyond words; the days I could end by taking a wild one to a rehabber on my way home, knowing they would have the best possible chance for recovery and release, were the days that ended best and helped me remember that the small victories mean the world.

I salute you for all you have done for so many years for so many animals, and I share your pain at the needless death of that beautiful bobcat cub. If you can find in your soul the strength to continue with the work you do, many many lives will be touched and immeasurably improved. Try to focus, and I used to try to do, on those small victories that mean so very much to the animals involved. No one person can change the world, unfortunately; but when we do the best we can, we can make all the difference to one life, one day at a time.
Ruth

I have already started taking animals again. It's just what I do.

Good for you!
Ruth

jyl, I am also a lurker of this thread. so sorry about thewildcat kitten. Think you have done the right thing in renewing your license. Hope you do find a little time off to relax and good luck with all you do.

Donna