How the fight started.

> > > How the fight started......
> > >
> > > One year, a husband decided to buy his mother-in-law a cemetery plot
> > > as a Christmas gift...The next year, he didn't buy her a gift.
> > >
> > > When she asked him why, he replied, "Well, you still haven't used
> > > the gift I bought you last year!"
> > >
> > > And that's how the fight started...
> > >
> > >
> > >________________________________
> > >
> > >
> > > I asked my wife,
> > >
> > > 'Where do you want to go for our anniversary?'
> > >
> > > It warmed my heart to see her face melt in sweet appreciation.
> > >
> > > 'Somewhere I haven't been in a long time!'
> > >
> > > she said.
> > >
> > > So I suggested,
> > >
> > > 'How about the kitchen?'
> > >
> > > And that's when the fight started...
> > >
> > >
> > >________________________________
> > >
> > >
> > > I took my wife to a restaurant.
> > >
> > > The waiter, for some reason, took my order first!
> > >
> > > 'I'll have the strip steak, medium rare, please.'
> > >
> > > He said,
> > >
> > > 'Aren't you worried about the mad cow?'
> > >
> > > 'Nah, she can order for herself.'
> > >
> > > And that's when the fight started...
> > >
> > >
> > >________________________________
> > >
> > >
> > > My wife sat down on the couch next to me as I was flipping the
> > > channels.
> > >
> > > She asked,
> > >
> > > 'What's on TV?'
> > >
> > > I said,
> > >
> > > 'Dust.'
> > >
> > > And then the fight started...
> > >
> > >
> > >
> > >________________________________
> > >
> > >
> > > I rear-ended a car this morning... So, there we were alongside the
> > > road and slowly the other driver got out of his car.
> > >
> > > You know how sometimes you just get soooo stressed and little things
> > > just seem funny?
> > >
> > > Yeah, well I couldn't believe it... he was a DWARF!!!
> > >
> > > He stormed over to my car, looked up at me, and shouted,
> > >
> > > 'I AM NOT HAPPY!'
> > >
> > > So, I looked down at him and said,
> > >
> > > 'Well, then which one are you?'
> > >
> > > And then the fight started...
> > >
> > >
> > >________________________________
> > >
> > >
> > > THE BROKEN LAWN MOWER:
> > >
> > > When our lawn mower broke and wouldn't run, my wife kept hinting to
> > > me that I should get it fixed.
> > >
> > > But, somehow I always had something else to take care of first, the
> > > truck, the car, playing golf. Always something more important to me.
> > >
> > > Finally she thought of a clever way to make her point.
> > >
> > > When I arrived home one day, I found her seated in the tall grass,
> > > busily snipping away with a tiny pair of sewing scissors. I watched
> > > silently
> > > for a short time and then went into the house. I was gone only a
> > minute,
> > > and
> > > when I came out again I handed her a toothbrush.
> > >
> > > I said,
> > >
> > > 'When you finish cutting the grass, you might as well sweep the
> > > driveway.'
> > >
> > > The doctors say I will walk again, but I will always have a limp.
> > >