New Purina Diet

Yesterday I was at my local COSTCO buying a
large bag of Purina dog chow for my loyal pet, Biscuit, the
Wonder Dog and was in the checkout line when a woman behind
me asked if I had a dog.

What did she think I had; an elephant? So since
I'm retired and have little to do, on impulse I told her
that no, I didn't have a dog, I was starting the Purina
Diet again. I added that I probably shouldn't, because I
ended up in the hospital last time, but that I'd lost 50
pounds before I awakened in an intensive care ward with
tubes coming out of most of my orifices and IVs in both
arms.

I told her that it was essentially a perfect diet and
that the way that it works is to load your pants pockets
with Purina nuggets and simply eat one or two every time you
feel hungry. The food is nutritionally complete so it works
well and I was going to try it again (I have to mention here
that practically everyone in line was now enthralled with my
story.). Horrified, she asked if I ended up in intensive
care because the dog food poisoned me. I told her no, I
stepped off a curb to sniff an Irish Setters a** and a car
hit us both.

I thought the guy behind her was going to have a
heart attack he was laughing so hard.

Costco won't let me shop there anymore.

Better watch what you ask retired people.. They
have all the time in the world to think of crazy things
to say.