Accessible Gardening: #19 Practical Matters for Physically Challenged Gardeners , 1 by Agavegirl1

Agavegirl1 wrote:
Good morning everyone!
Hey cold snap coming. Bust out the sweaters. Only 106-109 the next week! Whoo-hoo! No more 112's. You wouldn't imagine it but truly anything under 110 IS noticeable and does make a true difference out here. Now you walk outside and just say you feel like you could die. It doesn't actually happen. (LOL)
Carrie don't feel bad about a thing. It's called CRS Syndrome. (You know. As in Can't Remember #@%&) I've got it too. Reason why I mix everyone up, can't remember who lives where, couldn't remember poor Bet visiting AZ, etc. Try B12. Made a 100% difference in the improvement of my memory such as it is. Now the only thing affecting it is the meds and the start of menopause. (We'll skip that one and my first REAL hot flash. Holy #$@$). And yes you did react to them. Quite nicely and quite appropriately considering at the time you weren't feeling your best so kudos to you. :D

Hi Jim,
Hey don't worry about me. I'm good with the cleaning thing. Believe me I know it can get a little compulsive but it is an important part of my life not my whole life. Believe me there are plenty of days when I look at things and go...Nah, not today. The dust will be there tomorrow. (It won't be there a week from now! But it will be there tomorrow and maybe the next day too.) There's plenty of times my husband comes home and says, "So whacha do today?" I'll say garden and not a thing more. He never gives me grief for my lazy days because he knows how hard I work around here.
Since I am 47, for the most part able bodied but not able to work out of the house I do kind of treat house keeping as my "40 hour a week" full-time job. I feel it's only fair since I no longer go out to earn a check I shouldn't expect my husband to do what he used to around the house chore wise like he did when I was working full-time. I'm home full-time. It's my "job" now. He has his "full-time" job he goes to. He still pitches in plenty though. When you're not able bodied it is different.
Health and well being becomes more important and takes precedence over chores and maintenance as it should. My picking on DH's friends and those kids in the military is that they are all blessed with amazing health and abundance materially. They're not wondering how they will eat, where to sleep, they take vacations, etc. They actually have very nice things.

I am talking about very able bodied persons with NO health issues who rather sit in front of a TV or computer or just hang out. They don't even have a problem like mine where their brain creates chaos on occasion and interrupts their lives periodically. They have NO health issues. They don't have infants, toddlers or small children. They're not in college again or working another job. They work no harder than my husband, nor I when I did the same job and we managed to squeeze in fun, rest, and cleaning and socializing, date time and some personal alone time.
They have a home and things many people who are working can not afford or would like to have. They, however, are not mindful or appreciative of this fact. They ARE indisputably, by anyone's standards, lazy and slovenly. Stevie Wonder could see it. They have raised and encouraged their able bodied children to be the same way.
What irks me more than these particular people that DH knows were the people in the military who still can't dutifully clean even minimally when instructed and required by their superiors even though they are supposed to be "adults". It was an expectation given and explained to you at boot camp. It was explained again at AIT (boot camp II). It wasn't a "suggestion". It's called a direct order. If you can't follow a direct order which one can you follow in life?

Like I said it is very different when you are able bodied and you simply don't do it , or when you sign on in the military that says YOU MUST and you refuse to comply. It is quite another matter when you are disabled and the work is too hard, too physically demanding or you don't have the help or resources available. A vast world of difference! One is excusable. The other one somebody needs to give them a good swift kick in their lazy rumps.

As for your neighbor he sounds like he's not playing with a full deck and yes, he is about ready to go off the deep end. I'm not sure what his issue is but it sounds like it's escalating and he's already p.o.'d and looking for a way to or for somebody to continue taking his pent up frustrations and hostilities out on. He also seems a bit passive-aggressive and like he has nothing better to do with his time and remaining money. I've lost a lot of money too and had a
HUGE change in lifestyle. Productive people get mad, get over it, and move on to something else and find some other way to channel their energy. This guy can't seem to.
Your property is your business not his. If it irritates him too bad. Why? Is he running a B&B or something with scenic river views? If he has an issue he can talk to you neighborly and "ask" politely about the status of things. Or if he doesn't want to do that he can call the county, city, whomever and complain to them. If you're property isn't a menace, or a hazard they'll tell him to go pound fence posts.
Even for a city dweller like me his behavior makes no sense. As long as "my yard/stuff" doesn't encroach on his then there's not squat he can say or do. The only thing he can do is complain to the Home Owners Association in our subdivision who will say "yea" or "nay" to his complaint and then address me or tell him to go kick rocks. If the H.O.A. addresses me I have to comply. There's "rules" which home owners have to comply to which is why we pay an H.O.A. fee. All residents have to comply in terms of yard maintenance, trash cans, no dogs, jungle gyms or 8 foot tall statues of Jesus or Buddha in front yard; you can't paint your house flaming pink, etc. From the richest to the poorest almost every place has an H.O.A. (some more lenient than others)

If there's no H.O.A. he can complain to the city and or county. If he's able to get someone interested in his babbling they'll do the same thing as an H.O.A. Basically look up rules and see. Like I said if I'm current on my taxes, mortgage/rent, and it's not a menace or hazard they'll most likely tell him to go take a leap regardless of the rules.

This guy does have some serious control issues.! I also think he's trying to bait you. I would have someone...anyone accompany Nadine to the mailbox. He'd square off to a man. He may get mouthy to a woman but he's not going to square off to physically especially when there's two. If he runs his mouth or is skulking around in the car get a restraining order! Did you hear that? He may be on his property but that doesn't mean you can't keep him away from the gals.

That keeps him away. Also you have...now think about this..2 women as in 2 witnesses (not just 1 a him vs. her scenario) who say a man has been sitting there watching them and stalking them when they get the mail. DOCUMENT the times. Write it down in a notebook.
If he tries to talk to the ladies tell them to turn around and hustle it back. Don't acknowledge him or engage in conversation. That's "encouraging him" and the police issuing the restraining order will want to know "Why did you do that if you don't want him to be there or feel he's a danger?" Refuse to acknowledge him. Tell them to chat between themselves about anything. The dude doesn't exist! They don't see him or hear him.
Also the other reason for taking 2 to the mailbox. They can talk and ignore him. That's kind of hard with one person. If 2 people are engaged in conversation it is hard to get their attention. If one is by themselves it is easy.

Now Jim, for what it's worth and not a slam at your manhood or desire or ability to defend your property or your family stay away from him. I'm also not trying to patronize you but here's something I wish you would consider since I worked for years around inmates serving life. I got a peek inside the mentality and a lot of them shared with me the things they did that got them their AND what they wish they did differently. You're not an inmate but they gave some insight into the "guy code of honor" thing.
One of the things a lot of them told me was they wished they had had the ability to "step down" during confrontations and "not man up" to everything or when they were being baited or someone was trying to bully them. They wish they had been smarter about the way they handled threats and the people who infuriated them before it escalated. They wished they turned it over to the law or just let it go.

So...I would hate to see you get into an altercation with this guy that could wind up into a fight and get charged with assault. This guy does seem like a trouble maker looking to make more trouble. Period. So why be around to give him what he wants?
Like I suggested let the law...a restraining order...take care of it. At the very least you went on record as reporting him and notifying the police of his behavior and as the instigator. If there's trouble they'll go to him first. And if he's doing something illegal they'll catch him.

Also God forbid if he chooses to get physical let him! That was the first thing we were taught at the prison. Hit the "man down" button on the radio. Do not swing back. (Whole prison will respond in less than 3 seconds and can of whoop butt will be opened on the guy by others who have the right to legally. You...the assaulted... play victim and press charges!)
Crazy guy will go to jail for assault. You won't! Crazy guy also most likely is not going to fight with someone who doesn't fight back and who (ahem...) falls down comatose or screaming in agony. That's just no fun. You deflated his anger balloon.
Crazy neighbor is going to be booked on assault because he hit Jim for no reason instead of walking away! Jim is going to sue crazy guy for everything AND stay out of jail to boot. Got it?

Better yet, just avoid crazy guy and let post office and restraining order deal with him. If he's doing something illegal he may get away with it for a little while but eventually he'll get caught. Prison is full of people who thought they'd never get caught. There's more prisons waiting for those who think they're not going to get caught. We just keep building them and the inmates come. Need a job? They're always hiring.

I'm glad the staples are out of your back! Sounds like a huge relief. That and some mobility as far as being able to get up and down the stairs even if minimally. It's a start. As for part-time work check Brinks. A lot of it is full-time but the vault/cash room is easy in that you sit and count, strap money into bundles, and package it all day for different orders so nut jobs like me can put it in the truck and go out with a gun and deliver it. Don't take this the wrong way but the majority of the women worked there because they didn't want to do the lifting. Also they have turret duty. Basically sit with a gun, look out the window, and log the goings on. Neither one is overly physical. Do have to pass their handgun test.
Just random thought.
Take care. Pretty flowers.
Pic#1 Wild horses that were close to the road. They're on Indian reservation territory which is a huge block of this state.
Pic#2. Just thought pretty.
Pic #3. Just thought pretty sunset.
Pic#4. Prairie dogs in love
Pic#5. Hi! Me. As always sitting on a rock under some sort of cactus (Yucca in this case)

Peace out TTC